Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Sometimes

Sometimes loneliness cuts me to the core.
Sometimes I get so angry the only response my body has is to cry.
Sometimes I long so deeply for things it physically hurts.
Sometimes I shrug things off and act tough when in reality I'm dying for someone to notice I'm falling apart.
Sometimes I'm a selfish jerk.
Sometimes I just need you to hug me.
Sometimes I eff up.
Sometimes I make people laugh.
Sometimes I don't know what the hell I'm doing.
Sometimes I take things too personally.
Sometimes I unfairly displace my anger.
Sometimes I wish I could tell you just how much I need you.
Sometimes I'm awkward.
Sometimes I'm ungrateful.
Sometimes I want to quit my job and be an irresponsible 22-year-old...or just a normal 22-year-old.
Sometimes your indifference really hurts.
Sometimes I just need to be better. 
Sometimes I want to move.
Sometimes I can't let it go.
Sometimes I laugh to myself when I think about how ridiculous I must look when I have to push my car door open from the inside because it's broken and I'm too cheap to get it fixed.
Sometimes it's all just too much.


Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes. Most of the time. Practically every day.

I'm unhappy. There, I said it.
Once I get a moment to breathe and deal with it, I'll move forward.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Kids Say The Darndest Things

I've been thinking about Louisiana today. Here are some funny things the kids said that summer that still crack me up:

Toby, upon first sight of the green house: "That house ain't green, it's clear." 
Me & Kels: "Well, ya got us there, Toby. "

All: "I gotta use it."

At Sonic with Toby and Sonatra:
Toby: "There are onions in these onion rings!"
Me: "Uhhh....what did you expect to find in there?"
Toby: "Well, I don't know...chicken."

Playing UNO:
Worm: "Skip you, Miss Krysten!"
Me: "It's not even your turn!"
Worm: "I still skip you!"
Me: "...."

Stank, referring to his disposable camera: "Can you turn it off?"

Madeline: "Krysten, do you have a best friend?"
Me: "Yes ma'am."
Madeline: "Is it me?"
Me: "Yes, yes it is." :)

Stank: "He's sheeting!"
Me: "He's what?"
Stank: "Sheeting!"
Me: "You mean cheating?"
Stank: "That's what I said!"





Saturday, June 4, 2011

Southern Summer Sun

I always eagerly anticipate returning to Louisiana, this time is no different. Yes, I am counting down the days - 25, in case you were wondering. This trip will be different then the rest though; with the day count at 10, it will be the longest amount of time I've spent there since I left at the end of summer 2008. (I'm also hoping a certain someone *cough, Kelsey Rogers, cough* will get to join me. They haven't seen us together since our very first visit back.) Shreveport has been graced with my presence many times since I left that summer but only for a few days at a time. And while I would much rather have short visits then no visits at all, it gets difficult. I'm so looking forward to seeing the kids and not having days jam-packed in order to see everyone. 


Life in Kansas City is wonderful, and continually gets better. I live in the hood with awesome people, have a good job, great friends, am part of an incredible family of believers, and am loved really well. I love it here, and know this is where the Lord has me, but my heart still longs for Louisiana. Each day brings the constant battle of living fully present here in Kansas City. Staying here was not my preference, but rather a matter of obedience to the Lord. Is it difficult to not be in Louisiana? Yes. But the Lord has greatly rewarded my obedience. 


My life is in Kansas City, but Louisiana is home.




I'm ready to feel the southern summer sun. 



 
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