Monday, September 27, 2010

Hillcrest

Refuge (n): a place of shelter, protection, safety, or escape.



My mind quickly shorted through its internal dictionary to find an appropriate descriptor.
"This place is a....refuge." I said with hesitation.
The smile that appeared on her face signaled she knew exactly what I was trying to convey.
No surprise...she gets me pretty well.


It's just an garage turned office next to a 120 year old house, but what we're doing here, the experiences I've had here...it's changing me. I never quite know how to respond when asked how my internship here at Hillcrest is going. I could tell you that I have the most incredible boss, hands down. Or how I'm affirmed here. How it makes me feel completely competent. How this office is so often filled with laughter (even if it is because Jed and I are both going crazy). How I look froward to Mondays because I get to spend pretty much all day here, and how I wish it could be like that every day of the week. Or how I look forward to coming here and hate leaving to go to class or Lemon Tree. Or how with every phone call and email I answer, every interaction I have with Jed or a resident, every hour I spend here, my joy is increased. How I never thought I would find something I love this much. I could tell you all those things and more, but at the end of the day, it's still more than that.


I see the face of Jesus here daily.
So beautiful.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Waiting for the Dawn

I haven't felt like this in a while...my heart hurts tonight, I'm annoyed with myself, stressed out, on the verge of tears.
It's been a terrible day...week.

It's been terrible, everything seems to be going wrong, and yet, STILL I'm shown beauty. Beauty I cannot ignore. It comes in the form of generous and loving friends, reminders of cherished memories of a summer past, a graduation ceremony for one of our Hillcrest residents, Jacob's Well sermon audio, a boss who lets me know I am valued.

The past two years have been a long road. The past four months have been especially transformative. I have been brought out of the darkness. My heart is being healed. I am learning a posture of gratitude, and to choose that daily. Yes, there are times like this of discouragement, but I will not be overcome...this too shall pass. My joy comes again in the morning.

HE chooses goodness and mercy for me.
HE works all things for my good.
And I'm desperately holding onto that fact.
 
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