Saturday, April 24, 2010

the good life

talking about Outward Bound
laughing really hard
window seats at Panera with a curly-haired blonde and a hilarious nursing student
2 hours of ridiculous tennis
a long walk in perfect weather
swings
escape plan
stretching out
QT
late night adventures
sitting by the river
old country music
breakfast with good friends
a long walk in the rain with a new friend






I wish my life were like the past day and a half more often.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Say Goodnight Grace

It's one of those nights...the paper is only half written, The Weepies are on, the cool air is flowing through my open window, and I find myself unable to focus, drifting off into thought.

The day's conversations roll through my head, specifically one with my little sister. We don't talk often and when we do it is usually about trivial things, but tonight was different. She wasn't her normal sassy, 16-year-old self, but rather a little sister deeply longing for real relationship with her distant big sister. Her honesty and grace humbled me and our conversation brought me to tears.

Four years ago, I was so incredibly relieved to finally get away from home that I neglected to realize who I was leaving behind. Nicholas and Tori were 10 and 12 when I moved away, just little kids. They are so different now, and I missed all of that; and while they don't hold anything against me, I'm not sure I will ever be able to fully forgive myself for severely neglecting the privilege of being their big sister. But the beauty of life is second chances. I will not let her fear of me stepping out of the big sister role actualize; I'm going to be the big sister they both deserve.




 
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