Monday, February 15, 2010

Writer's Block

I've been struggling to write for over a week. Normally the words flow easily, but the blinking cursor or the tapping pen taunts me.

Writing is a release. It's how I cope, how I deal with and work through things. Communication has never been my strong suit...I'm not good at expressing myself to others, so I write. I write until the words no longer form coherent sentences, until tears crashing onto the pages make words bleed together, until the journal gets thrown across the room in anger or frustration. I write because I don't know what else to do.

And right now, I can't.
What does that leave me?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Ready or Not

I may have made a big decision last night.

Just saying that brings a flood of emotions.

I over-think things.
Over-thinking often leads to talking myself out of things.
Then I miss out.
I'm not okay with that.
I promised myself last August I would stop doing that exact thing.

What I don't know:
-what it will look like
-how long I would end up staying
-if I am ready
-whether or not I will begin that adventure alone
-if I'm making the right decision
...among other things I can't yet articulate.

What I do know:
-I want to be there.

I keep telling myself I'm not ready...

...but who says I have to be?
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