Tuesday, June 30, 2009

5:21

it's 5:21 am.






why am i still awake?...



...because my body hates me.


for the past week i have not been able to fall asleep before 5 am...
this is getting really old.





Sunday, June 21, 2009

hit the road, jack.

Currently listening to: Interpol
Currently feeling: good


i bought new running shoes yesterday.
it's the best investment i've made in a long time.
they're asics.
do you know what asics stands for?
the latin phrase translated: "a sound mind and body".

running has become a saving grace. normally i go towards the square, up mississippi, etc. but yesterday evening i was eager to try out my new shoes and was looking for something different...so i went the opposite way--i ran out of town. a few blocks from campus, highway H opens up into wide open space. i took off with no destination or stopping point in mind...i just started running.

it was the best run i have ever had--highway H is long and hilly, there was open road as far as i could see. the cool of the summer night was setting in. all i could hear were the crickets, the occasional car zoom past, and the sound of my feet hitting the pavement.

the past two days i have run further and faster than ever. maybe it's the new shoes (seeing as they have cushioning that my old ones were lacking because they were so broken down). maybe it's the new route. or maybe my mind and body are finally getting on the same page.

for me, running is freedom.
it's time alone.
just me, the road, and my thoughts.
it's the beginning of my road back to a sound mind and body.


and from now on, i'm leaving my problems on the pavement.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Project Noah

as i'm leaving, a change comes on my eyes, these streets persuading me with mumbles strange goodbyes. and through the water, through the ring, to the soul of everything. i wash my heart out on the stones, and i'm almost gone.

i spent all of last week in new orleans with the youth group from grace umc (shreveport). we worked with an organization called project noah, and did rebuilding/clean up work after katrina.
::side note--it's been 4 years since katrina hit. 4 years. but as we drove through new orleans her mark is still COMPLETELY evident. the spray painted circles denoting survivors/bodies are still on most remaining houses, stairs lead to nowhere, homes are still boarded up. you wouldn't think it's been four years.::

when i signed up to go on Noah, i had no idea of the impact it would have on my life. first of all, my crew dug a house foundation by hand -- no machines, just shovels and our own strength. it sucked! but what an incredible experience! how many people can say they have done that? not many. also, to my surprise, i was an "adult" on the trip. what?? having this title really challenged me throughout the week; for instance, when the work became almost unbearable and i wanted to quit and/or complain, i had to remind myself that the youth in my group were watching me...that I was now the one setting the example, which meant i had to push through and stay positive, all the while encouraging the kids.

i had never been in an "adult" role with youth before, and it both humbling and encouraging that scott and sarah have that kind of confidence in me. the week was long, hard, and challenging...but i walked away feeling a little more grown up.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

"trust me"...no thanks.

Currently listening to: Silversun Pickups
Current mood: annoyed/disappointed



People never cease to surprise me. Never.
I’m convinced you never really know someone, especially in this stage of life. We are all growing up, changing as individuals; and as a result our friendships ebb and flow like the tides. The last three semesters have taught me a lot about friendship; and as a general rule I have learned not to trust people.

I’m done trusting people who don’t deserve it. I’m done apologizing. I’m done wasting energy on one-sided friendships. I’m done playing games. If you want me to let you in, be prepared to prove yourself to me; and I expect to have to do the same.

Another thing I’ve learned is that it is incredibly difficult to disprove/rid a stigma an individual has of you. I have not been myself these past three semesters—I’ve been battling issues and illnesses. By no means am I apologizing for any of that, but for those of you who watched me struggle…I want you to know you have not seen the person I want people to know. So I want all of you to read the next sentences very carefully: Forget what you’ve known of me the last few semesters. You will see a new person in the fall—stronger, healthier, happier.
 
Head Full of Doubt, Road Full of Promise - Blogger Templates, - by Templates para novo blogger Displayed on lasik Singapore eye clinic.