Monday, May 18, 2009

pull-out couches and tractors

Currently: half listening to my mom
Currently listening to: Ben Lee
Currently feeling: out of place

i'm home, albeit for two days, for the first time in 5 1/2 months.
it's weird.
my bedroom has been converted into the "family room"...translation: my sister took my furniture and i now sleep on a pull-out couch. the only remnants of me in the room i designed and literally helped my father and his friends construct are the paint colors i so meticulously chose.

each time i come home the landscape of my little town is different. here are the differences this time (which will mean nothing to you, but bear with me):
--they tore down OLA and are building a junior high
--there is a new fire station across from my doctor's office
--the glass door on front of my house has a new handle, which means i can no longer simply push it open. so yes, i do run into it every time.
--our swing set is gone
--the tree i spent my childhood climbing has been reduced to a measly stump. at least my father had the decency to cut above the part i carved my initials into
--we now have a monkey joe's...but i have no idea what that is
--what was once a 4-way stop is now a round-about

i don't know how i feel about home anymore. in some weird way, i'm glad my parents converted my bedroom into the family room. i think pull-out couches are a sign of emerging adulthood. i don't live here anymore, and this solidifies that fact. more than a few days at home at a time is all i will ever be able to handle., i was driving and passed two tractors on the road. that doesn't happen in kansas city, and i had forgotten how much i like it.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

"and you wanted a salad..."

Currently listening to: Ryan Adams
Current mood: at ease

i finally got to spend time with my dear molly tonight. finally.
what a relief to finally reunite with my dearest friend.
we talked, we ate, we laughed, we confessed, we reminisced, we looked forward.
i don't have any insightful things to say or teary-eyed stories to share with you; just the fact that i am incredibly grateful and blessed to have a friend like molly.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

T-minus 2 weeks

Currently: sitting on office duty in Melrose
Currently listening to: the annoying hum of the soda machines and freshman freaking out about their group project
Current mood: in between

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind, and the next two are not proving to be any better. My body is exhausted, I can't seem to kick whatever virus I have, and my planner looks like an ink pen exploded because it is so full. So here are a random collection of thoughts for your viewing pleasure...

1. I really really really need to guard my heart. For real.

2. This week I got to spend a lot of time with Emme and Rory. They are absolutely wonderful, and just being around them makes my life better. I can't wait to spend all summer with them!

3. My family came last weekend. It was the first time I had seen them in almost 5 months, and they were here for a whopping 6 hours. The time with them was...good, exhausting, awkward, and reminded me why I do not go home.

4. A friendship was mended last weekend, albeit under not so choice circumstances. But I'm not complaining. Hopefully this will be the end of our roller coaster ride...

5. The fact that I am not returning to Louisiana this summer has been difficult to deal with. By the time I am able to go back, it will have been 8 months...part of me is still afraid the kids will forget about me. Plus, they don't have anyone who can be with them every day this summer...which really makes me worry about them. And I miss the Momma.

6. In 2 weeks I will be a senior. Holy. Mother. Mary. As ready as I am to get out of here, I'm not ready at all.

7. Lilac bushes all over campus are in full bloom, and I love it! That is one of the best things about Jewell in the Spring.


9. Saturday I proved myself to myself as a RA. I finally feel confident doing this job.

10. This week I have 4 tests, 3 presentations, and 5 papers due. All this the week BEFORE finals. I swear our professors are trying to kill us.

I'm ready for summer.
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