Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I am nothing.

If I speak in the tounges of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging symbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all the mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irratable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong-doing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends...For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

I keep being pulled back to this...probably because I keep getting it wrong.

Monday, February 9, 2009

jesus and fluorescent lighting

**disclaimer: i hate fluorescent lighting!**

jacob's well continues to inspire me, along with providing me a place in which i meet god in different ways each time i enter that building. while i am a regular at the 9am service, today i went to the 5:30 service with jess. i really wish that service worked better with my schedule...the atmosphere is so incredible. there's something about the way the lights are dim and the streetlights shine through the stain glass windows with the candle light...i suppose it just makes it easier for me to center myself--i'm all about atmosphere.

tonight the service was a little different. the band decided they were not going to use any electricity; typically they have 4-6 people accompanied by electric guitars, mics, amps, etc. (but not in the stale praise band kind of way). not tonight. tonight they were 11 strong, no mics, no amps, acoustic guitars, cello, was incredible. it was their attempt to allow us (the congregation) to hear each other. at first i was slightly uncomfortable, but as i closed my eyes i found myself immersed in the beautiful sound of a few hundred people lifting their voices to the lord. it gave me the chills. i didn't know 99% of those people, but i felt connected to them in a way i cannot describe. you know, i'm not sure what it's going to sound like in heaven...but i think i experienced a little bit of it tonight.

along with being able to hear my brothers and sisters sing along side me to our great god, i could hear communion being served. now, we take communion every week and i always like to watch people as they file through. but tonight was different. tonight through the voices singing my favorite song (words to build a life on) i could hear "the body of christ broken for you...his blood shed on your behalf." communion changed, i don't even know how to explain it.

blessed when you lose your own identity,
blessed when you find it and it has been redeemed.
blessed when you see what your friends can never be.
blessed with your eyes closed,
blessed you see me.

But as for me, my prayer is to you O Lord.
At an acceptable time, O God,
in the abundance of your steadfast love answer
me in your saving faithfulness.
-Psalm 69:13-
...i think i'm beginning to experience what freedom feels like...

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