Thursday, May 22, 2008

this strangely familiar, unwelcome feeling.

dissatisfaction.

it's this pain, somewhere deep within me, that never seems to go away.

i can't really describe it. a state of being that has consumed my whole self. i'm finding myself dissatisfied with everything...with my family, my relationships, my faith, my choices, the places i'm in. i thought coming down here would help, but i feel it even more. maybe because for the first time in a long time, i'm actually letting myself feel.

my mom called me a drifter. she's right. i've never been happy in one place for too long--i'd rather have the open road under my feet. there's something deep inside me that longs for something more, something new.

part of me wonders if i'll ever find satisfaction. i'm hesitant to believe i will. but then again, who's to say i should?
 
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